Unlike many other Golan and Globus productions, Under Cover has been all but forgotten. Which is a shame, because it’s surprisingly good.

Apparently Karma has decreed that I shall watch only films that are bat**** insane.

Karma has done worse things to me…

WAR OF THE INSECTS (1968)

…in which any synopsis I could offer would suggest that I had suffered a nervous breakdown while playing Mad Libs…

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The spaghetti western Cry Onion is downright insane, which is why it is greatly entertaining.

One of the last gasps from Empire Pictures, Deadly Weapon proved to be a especially lame way to make an exit.

If I’m going to be this long in coming, I can at least have the decency to bring a whole crapload of reviews with me, right?  First the roundtables…

Here’s the Bad Place, which I’ve perverted into an examination of gothic romance:

Crimson Peak (2015), in which the house is full of ghosts, but they’re the least of anyone’s problems…

Dragonwyck (1946), in which you’ll know the girl is in trouble when her charming rich relative turns out to be Vincent Price…

The Maze (1953), in which the gothic and the Lovecraftian meet…

and…

Rebecca (1940), which, so far as the movies are concerned, is kind of the start of the whole thing.

And here’s Dino De Laurentiis (or at least a downpayment on him):

Hannibal (2001), in which De Laurentiis and Thomas Harris foolishly turn Hannibal Lecter into a franchise character…

and…

Mandingo (1975), in which Dino convinces Paramount Pictures to help him impersonate Franco Prosperi and Gualtiero Jacopetti.

Finally, here’s everything else:

Americathon (1979), in which the White House launches a telethon to keep the USA in business…

Cobra (1986), in which crime is a disease, but Golan and Globus have found the cure…

Hercules (1983), in which Luigi Cozzi splits the difference between cashing in on Conan and cashing in on Star Wars…

The Adventures of Hercules (1984), in which he does it again…

Midnight Special (2016), or Close Encounters on Witch Mountain with D.A.R.Y.L. the Extraterrestrial…

Moon Zero Two (1969), in which Hammer gets an early start on their notorious 70’s out-of-touch-ness by offering a boring space Western in riposte to 2001.

and…

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015), which was almost worth suffering through the prequels.

King Kong (1976)

If this review seems more than a little lopsided, it’s because I’ve had to deal with nearly forty years of conflicting impressions about this movie. There’s the unfavorable opinion I got from it as a child, which stayed with me until I saw the movie again with adult eyes some 30 years later… and got a different, equally unfavorable impression.

I could simply say, “It’s dumb, but it certainly looks good. What harm could it do?” Then I realize: that’s probably just what Kong said.

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…and Dino interfered with the production so much, Nigel Kneale had his name taken off it—what more do you want?

HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982)

(But just in case anyone does have an issue, I’ve also transferred ORCA (1977).)

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In Mr. Ricco, Dean Martin looks and acts as tired as his surrounding material.

HURRICANE (1979)

…in which Dino De Laurentiis spends mega-bucks turning John Ford’s thirties drama about a culture clash in the South Seas into a turgid tale of forbidden love, but the results are just a tempest in a teapot…

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James Garner plays an atypical bad guy role in the reasonably entertaining spaghetti western A Man Called Sledge.