It seems the producers of The Phantom Kid were trying to make another Bugsy Malone. But instead, they made something akin to The Terror Of Tiny Town.
It’s just kids’ stuff
Apr 23
Three strikes and you’re out
Apr 13
While the Canadian horror anthology movie Twists Of Terror had three chances to deliver a good story, it somehow managed to screw up each and every time.
Ah, good times!
Mostly mad science this update, folks, with some aliens, a giant killer snake, and a little gaslighting thrown in for good measure…
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Contamination (1980) (NB: NSFW)
Zombi Holocaust (1980) (NB: really NSFW)
Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!
That’s sick stuff
Apr 3
The science fiction movie Carriers is a more realistic than usual take on the killer plague movie genre, which in part explains why it’s very effective.
Association of ideas
Mar 26
Well…I was hoping to have some Resurrected Reviews to post about by now, but Real Life is being…uncooperative…so in the interests of getting something done, I have continued to transfer existing reviews over to the blog.
Of course, the choice of what to move is almost paralysing, so I have fallen back on a system of word association, as is probably evident from the latest selections.
At the very least, I will get a couple of reviews moved over each week, hopefully more; when I have a reasonable crop, I will pop in here and give you all an update.
Most recently I have transferred and tweaked:
The Haunting (1999)
King Of The Zombies (1941)
Captive Wild Woman (1943)
Revenge Of The Zombies (1943)
Murders In The Zoo (1933)
Night Of The Bloody Apes (1972) (NB: NSFW)
Hell Of The Living Dead (1980) (NB: NSFW)
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Enjoy!
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Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!Samurai snoozer
Mar 24
With all that talent in front of and behind the camera, The Challenge should have been much better than it actually is.
Soft core porn scorn
Mar 14
While Linda Lovelace For President is not a hard core sex film, it is without doubt a hard going film.
Even when you consider the quality of many slashers from the 1980s, The Forest is way below average for the genre.
Sorry– inside joke. I bet Teleport Keith gets it, though. So anyway, this is how I’ve been torturing myself since frigging November:
Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell (1978), in which no one ever said the Antichrist had to be human…
Sherlock Holmes (1916), which has recently wriggled its way off of the Lost List to give us a taste of the original Definitive Holmes Player…
Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999), which is so much worse even than you remember…
Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002), in which George Lucas belatedly remembers that these movies are supposed to lead into the ones he already made…
Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005), in which he double-belatedly remembers that they’re specifically supposed to be showing us the origin of Darth Vader…
Virgin Witch (1972), which astonishingly is probably the best thing I reviewed this go-round…
and…
Wild Country (2005), which would have been the best if only writer/director Craig Strachan had realized that we’d know it was werewolves all along.
Stalker (1979)
Three people go off into the wild in search of a possibly-supernatural phenomenon. On their way, they bicker with each other, getting on each other’s nerves (and sometimes the nerves of the audience, too). We never actually see any of the terrifying things that confront them… but toward the end, a woman makes a tearful confession directly into the camera, and…
And…
Ummm, even though all this is technically accurate, I see I’m inadvertently giving a description of the wrong film. Let me try again:
Our protagonist goes from a mundane, monochrome world into a mysterious land of color, where nothing is quite the same; and (with some curious, ill-matched companions and a dog) follows a winding path on a quest for a magical place where they’ve heard their wishes will be granted… Theyyyyy’re off to see the…
Oh, boy. Now I’m really describing the wrong movie. Forget it. Just read the damned review, OK?
Will Laughlin is the Braineater.