The B-Masters Cabal

Back from the Grave and Ready to Party!

Archive for category Hoopla

Gives Me Chills: The Contest!

Feb 24

Posted by Nathan Shumate in Gives Me Chills, Hoopla | 2 Comments

A great idea was posted in the last “Gives Me Chills” post’s comments: Why not have a PhotoShop contest, with readers and participants giving their new, improved covers for the movies mocked in the series?

To the Batcave!

Here are the rules, then.  Pick a previous entry on “Gives Me Chills” (I’ve just added a new category for them, so just click here) and design a new cover, using either elements of the existing cover or new images of your own gathering.  (Since this isn’t for commercial use, I’m not going to require you to use public domain or Creative Commons-licensed images, but if your design is overwhelmingly based on someone else’s image, you ought to credit it.  Don’t you think?)

You MAY NOT change the title.  Sorry.  Other text is fair game, though.

Contest will end March 10th.  Entries will be judged by the combined Cabal in closed conclave; criteria will not only be improvement over the existing cover, effectiveness in still portraying the same movie in the best light, and general design.  Prize will be… I dunno.  I’ve got stuff.  I’ll find something.

Send all entries to chillscontest@gmail.com. Contest will end March 10th.

Let all of your Worth1000-wannabe buddies know!

Because you are obviously both smart and talented…

Feb 1

Posted by Nathan Shumate in Hoopla | 6 Comments

…I need your help.  I plan to self-publish my NaNoWriMo novel, Two Bit Blood, on Kindle and CreateSpace later this spring.  I’ve got mockups of three cover designs at NathanShumate.com; fancy taking a peek at them and giving your opinion?

Cthulhu calling

Feb 1

Posted by lyzard in Hoopla | 40 Comments

Sure, eleven years is a long time on the Internet… but when our readers began referring to us as “Great Old Ones”, we really weren’t sure how to take it. Then the chanting began, and we realized they weren’t talking about us at all: they were summoning something terrible from the depths of the cosmos.

Uh-oh.

A quick look at the prophecies on page 22 of the Classic Comics edition of the Necronomicon shewed — excuse me; showed us what we could expect: when the stars were right, it said, it was just remotely possible that a movie could be made from the writings of H.P. Lovecraft that didn’t stink with the noisome foetor of shoggoth poop.

Could such things be? It had happened so few times through the aeons that the very idea strained the bounds of credulity. Yet before long we received an urgent message from Sandy Petersen, master of eldritch lore and legendary creator of the Call of Cthulhu role-playing game. From beyond time, the Elder Gods had sent forth a new message: The Whisperer in Darkness was about to be released to the theaters and video screens of an unsuspecting world…

Would this new movie haunt the dreams of mankind, inspiring people all over the world to cast off their slumber and throng in the streets, crying, “Iä! Iä!” Or would it be so bad it cleared the earth of the mass of humanity, paving the way for the return of the Old Ones? And where did it fit among the arcana of Lovecraft adaptations?

Read on, o wanderer in the aetherial darkness, and find out…

It’s AT THE MOVIES OF MADNESS…all throughout February at the B-Masters’ blog.

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping…

Jan 1

Posted by lyzard in Hoopla | 16 Comments

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On behalf of the B-Masters, I’d like to wish all of our blog visitors, posters and lurkers alike, a very happy New Year. Thank you all for stopping by in 2010, and please don’t be strangers in 2011.

And here’s hoping that this is the year we finally get our flying cars, dammit!

Our blog visitors must have been extra good this year…

Dec 15

Posted by lyzard in Hoopla | 10 Comments

…because Santa has brought them an extra special present. And the B-Masters? Oh, they’re getting lumps of coal. If they’re lucky…

Last year, the B-Masters celebrated [sic.] the ten-year anniversary of Brainathon ’99 by inflicting on themselves and everyone else Stingathon ’09. And now another anniversary is due, possibly the greatest test of friendship ever devised:

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SECRET SANTA’S REVENGE…

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Join us every day from now until Christmas Eve and discover what the B-Masters found in their stockings.

Song of the Shrimp

Dec 15

Posted by KeithA in Hoopla, New Reviews | 8 Comments

I know I’m not the only one around here who was a big fan of David Thomas’ cult film review site STEAMED PRAWN BUNS, and I know I’m not the only one who has been lamenting its passing. Well, after an exchange of bribes, some kidnapping, blackmail, and a shootout that took place over a series of rooftops and terraced trails lined with lemon trees and olives in Cinque Terre, Italy, Dave has been kind enough to let Teleport City give his reviews a new home.

Starting…NOW…we’ll be reposting Dave’s reviews at Teleport City, with they’re very own Steamed Prawn Buns tag so you can dig them all up as they appear. I’m pretty psyched that he’s letting us do this, and hell…maybe we’ll even sneak a new review or two out of him if he isn’t too busy with the Royal Wedding.

BALLISTIC: ECKS VS SEVER

There is much discussion among film aficionados as to what is the worst videogame to movie adaptation. For some, it’s the unloved sequel Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Others speak of the searing pain of Super Mario Brothers. Based on the poor box office and critical brickbats that came its way, 2002′s Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever seemed determined to give them all a run for their money. Given that the movie is based on of all things a Gameboy game, it was obvious from the get-go that the screenwriters were going to have to create the plot from scratch. What they came up with was the old ‘rogue agent gone bad, burned-out agent reluctantly returns to track her down’ chestnut, but were able to add a few utterly baffling twists of their own.

And while we’re at it, here’s a couple more recent offerings of our own:

The Balearic Caper
I wanted to like The Balearic Caper, after all, on the surface it appears to be the type of film I should readily enjoy – a spy caper hybrid, with a great cast, with not only the aforementioned Bond stars, but also Mireille Darc, who looks good in any film. Oh, and Marilu Tolo too, who starred in a swag of European genre films. But I must admit I struggle with broad Italian comedy, and while The Balearic Caper doesn’t dive to the excessive and ponderous depths of a Franco and Ciccio film, it still grates instead of amuses.

Lupin III: Elusiveness of the Fog
I’ve always preferred Lupin’s slightly more grounded in reality exploits. Granted, we’re talking relative frames of reference here, but at the core of things, I like Lupin and his crew matching wits against their foes and pulling heists in a world that seems at least vaguely familiar. Elusiveness of the Fog, however, puts an entirely scifi/fantasy twist on the Lupin formula and gives us a goofy, breezy time travel adventure that manages to be disposably entertaining without being all that good.

Now it's YOUR turn to be insidious.

Nov 17

Posted by Nathan Shumate in Hoopla | 4 Comments

Pull the strings! Pull the strings!

Go here to find out how.

You know you want to.

An uncharacteristic silence.

Nov 2

Posted by Nathan Shumate in Hoopla | 5 Comments

I’ll be mostly eschewing movie reviews for November (except, of course, for the Roger Corman roundtable — I wouldn’t risk dissing our patron saint!), as I’ll be throwing my efforts into NaNoWriMo (that’s National Novel Writing Month).  You can check my progress in the widget on the sidebar of my blog, NathanShumate.com.

He's King Of The World!!

Oct 31

Posted by lyzard in Hoopla | 16 Comments

—and not that upstart protege of his.

From monsters to mutants, aliens to artists, commandoes to cowboys, gangsters to gunslingers, beatniks to bikers – and from William Shatner to Vincent Price – he’s the guy that’s done it all.

That’s right, folks: this time around the B-Masters pay long overdue tribute to the man who turned penny-pinching into an art form; who convinced the critics that it wasn’t “cheap”, it was “stark”; who outraged his employers by making actual art; and who unleashed an entire generation of film-makers upon an unsuspecting public.
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Join us as we pay tribute to the astonishing career of Roger Corman – the true King Of The Bs.

It’s HE CONQUERED THE WORLD – all throughout November at the B-Masters’ Blog.

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You can't pick your family

May 1

Posted by lyzard in Hoopla | 11 Comments

We’ve all got them, right? – those relatives you’d rather not acknowledge – that uncle who embarrasses you at every birthday party – those cousins you don’t invite to the family reunions (but who show up anyway)? And even if we did want to ignore their existence, film-makers all around the world have spent decades making certain that we can’t. So join us as we call a truce on the Darwinian name-calling, and give our big hairy brothers a hug.

It’s Foot Notes – all throughout the month of May at the B-Masters’ Blog!

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