Two of these things are not like the others

Erotic Diary of a Lumberjack (1974), which, as is only to be expected of a movie with that title, has practically nothing to do with lumberjacks,

In the Sign of the Virgin (1973), which has nothing whatsoever to do with virgins,

The Living Ghost (1942), which, come to think of it, has nothing to do with ghosts– am I on a roll here, or what?

RoboCop 2 (1990), which breaks the streak by being about not only RoboCop, but another cyborg actually called RoboCop 2 as well,

The Sinful Dwarf (1974), which is exactly what it says on the package,

and…

Truck Stop (1978), which is an extremely revisionist adaptation of the Odyssey.  No, really.

Finally, an "I Know…" film for Lyz!

Gunmolls and Gangsters

Underworld Beauty
Nikkatsu described their brand of action films as “borderless”, which in part meant that, because of the great extent to which they were modeled upon American gangster and noir films, they did not exhibit a distinctly Japanese identity. However, there is, in fact, something very Japanese about Underworld Beauty. And that is how, with that uniquely Japanese eye for detail, it so expertly distills the noir sensibility to its very essence, cutting away any distracting nuances and reducing it to only the most potent elements of its visual iconography. In this sense – though perhaps out of different motivations – it bears some similarities to a far more well known film from the same year, Orson Welles’ Touch Of Evil. In taking the visual aspects of the noir style to their very limits, both Underworld Beauty and Touch of Evil make obvious fetishes of the deep chiaroscuro compositions, expressionistic plays of shadow, and off-balance camera angles that most previous noir filmmakers had simply used as individual elements of a more varied palette.

And the shrimp chips have been fryin’ up as well:

Some things should remain lost

It happened to me again. I admit it, I was suckered. This happened recently when I was in my local used video store, and I came across a copy of Treasure Of The Lost Desert. You would think I would have learned not to trust the box art of a movie, but this movie’s box art somehow made me think I would be getting an action-packed adventure. Plus, there was the title of the movie, sounding very much like the title of one of my favorite movies, Raiders Of The Lost Ark. Well, if I manage to convince at least one reader not to be suckered by box art or titles, then my pain from watching this cheapo will have been worth it. Please, someone tell me my pain was not in vain…

Rock the Kasbah.

In The Man From Cairo (1953), A WWII veteran (George Raft) touring his old stomping ground in Algiers gets drawn into a hunt for a lost shipment of French Gold.

A rip-off, twice removed

c77-window2bCLAWS (1977)

Proving that there’s nothing so crappy it can’t inspire someone, this cheap knock-off of Grizzly tells the tale of one man’s Ahab-like quest to rid the Alaskan wilderness of what might be a supernatural being, or a gigantic grizzly bear, or a smallish black bear, or the taxidermist’s handiwork, depending on what shot we happen to be looking at.

Those new to this film should be warned that it features a particularly tragic ending, from which this viewer is yet to recover…

 

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Oh, the golden irony!

In The Midas Touch (1997), a children’s fantasy shot by Americans in — where else? — Romania, a youngster finds that the ability to turn objects and people to gold by a single touch is a surprising hardship. Surprising, that is, if you’ve never heard the twenty-five-hundred-year-old myth. (Kids these days, they think they’ve got to reinvent the wheel…)

Le serpent mamba…

mitz33-em3bMURDERS IN THE ZOO (1933)

In which a psychotic millionaire uses various animals to dispose of his enemies, his wife, and anyone else who gets in his way.

By some inexplicable oversight, however, that Enemies List fails to include one of this era’s most painful Odious Comic Reliefs.

So, yeah, it’s a tragedy.

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Hey man, don't hassle me with your deadlines!

I know, I know. May was the month for the round table. But I guess I’m just not willing to live by your rules, old man! Stop oppressing me with your deadlines. I’m a child of the revolution and I’ve got hate in my eyes. Ask for me tomorrow and I’ll be gone, ’cause I got a one way ticket to oblivion, and I’m gonna raise hell getting there!


Also, I eviewed an Indian movie about how much hippies suck:

HARE RAMA HARE KRISHNA
So when I discovered that Hare Rama Hare Krishna was less about the Krishnas themselves and more about the hippies who fluttered around the periphery of the religion, I wasn’t wholly surprised. It’s just that, for this round table, I really didn’t want to write about hippies. They’re the most obvious topic for a counter-culture round table. I’m not and have never been a hippie. I have very little I could add to the popular discourse on their counter-culture, what it was, and what it has become. I might have, at one time, found some satisfaction in making fun of hippies, but for reasons that may or may not be more clearly expressed later in this review, the fight has gone out of me in that regard.

Luckily, Hare Rama Hare Krishna affords me an opportunity to freshen things up a bit by looking at a movie that looks at the hippie movement through the lens of a culture hippies were fond of co-opting, lending a slightly different angle on the typical American approach to hippie films. Unluckily, the movie often adopts an air of smug, paternal condescension, alarmism, and xenophobia that ends up making me do something I don’t normally do: side with the hippies.

Who was it that was asking about STONE before?

Whoever it was, their wish has just been at least approximated, if not exactly granted.  The new stuff:

American History X (1998), in which Hollywood tries to make a non-hysterical movie about Nazi skinheads, but can’t quite bear to do it…

Smithereens (1982), in which the rotting remains of the New York City punk scene become a haven for dead-end scam-artists…

Stone (1974), in which a cop who left the edge three or four counties back is assigned to infiltrate a gang of outlaw bikers in the hope of figuring out who’s been going around bumping them off…

Suburbia (1983), in which you can’t entirely blame the residents of a decaying Los Angeles suburb for failing to tolerate the band of teenage runaways who are squatting an abandoned house a few miles away up Interstate 605…

and…

The Trip (1967), in which a man who was supposed to be a thinly disguised stand-in for Jack Nicholson becomes a thinly disguised stand-in for Roger Corman instead, but still drops acid in an attempt to figure out why he’s so dissatisfied with life.