These Have Been Up for a Few Days…

…but for some reason I was having a hard time logging in to post them. Oh well– everything seems to be working fine now.

 

Halloween (2007), in which Rob Zombie isn’t the worst thing to happen to the franchise, but the movie would have been so much better if it were free to be something other than a Halloween remake…

The Pack (1978), in which the Jaws-knockoff formula gets an interesting twist from using a species that usually gets along very well with humans as the threat…

Total Recall (1990), which is simultaneously Paul Verhoeven’s last really good Hollywood movie, and a signpost pointing the way to Hollow Man and Showgirls

and…

Vanessa (1977), in which it isn’t just your imagination– there really wasn’t a script, strictly speaking.

 

 

 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

Loser of ancient glory, but winner with laughs

The Adventures Of HerculesIt’s odd that the sequel to the 1983 Lou Ferrigno Hercules film, The Adventures Of Hercules, is somewhat obscure, when it delivers just as many unintended laughs as the first entry.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Big bus, what’s the fuss?

The Big BusThere are some big laughs, as well as spirited performances, to be found in the disaster movie spoof The Big Bus. Just not quite enough.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Should I be hard or soft?

Death Bed: The Bed That EatsThe horror movie Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is one of those movies about a bed that, well, eats.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

The “bad” side, if you get me

The Other Side Of Bonnie & ClydeThe legendary director Larry Buchanan was behind the documentary The Other Side Of Bonnie & Clyde, and depicts the real life figures with the equal amount of taste, budget, and professionalism he later used in his biopics of Marilyn Monroe, Howard Hughes, and Jimi Hendrix.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

…and Billy Barty, too!

FirepowerDespite gathering together stars like Sophia Loren, James Coburn, O.J. Simpson, Vincent Gardenia, Victor Mature, and Eli Wallach, Firepower ends up shooting blanks.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

“Take off your clothes, your Holiness”

Gone With The PopeFilmed in the mid-1970s, but not released until 2010, Duke Mitchell’s Gone With The Pope is somewhat disjointed, badly acted, misguided, and often quite unintentionally silly. Still, there is something about this movie…
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

This was SUPPOSED to have been the January Update…

…but it turns out that post-COVID brainfog I’d been hearing about is a very real thing, which you don’t even have to get all that sick to experience. I think I’ve got it all blown away now, but I couldn’t concentrate on a damned thing for a while there. Sadly, that also means that the little something special I had meant to do here in March will need to get pushed forward a few months. Anyway, we’ll start with the purely new stuff:

 

Angel Heart (1987), in which obviously nothing good will come of doing any kind of contract work for Satan…

Cat People (1982), in which getting rejected by Nastassja Kinski is rough on were-leopards and film directors alike…

No Escape (1994), in which 1994’s dystopian idea of 2022 is in some ways preferable to the real thing..

and…

Southern Comfort (1981), in which colonialist arrogance doesn’t go over any better in the bayou than it does in the jungles of Indochina.

 

I’ve got a few rewritten reviews, too, but only one of them got the kind of up-from-the-studs rebuild that’s characterized the series so far:

 

The Crimson Cult (1968), which started life as an adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Dreams in the Witch House,” although you’d never know it from watching the film…

Dinosaur Island (1994), in which I perform some much-needed reconstructive surgery on one of the first reviews I ever wrote…

and…

Gigantis the Fire Monster (1955), in which the goad to rewriting action was finally getting to see the Japanese cut.

 

 

 El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

Give it plenty of space

Space WarriorsIs Space Warriors as exciting and spectacular as that poster art makes it out to be? No.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Uninteresting

The UnholyIt’s quite amazing that the horror movie The Unholy takes a potent subject like Satan and uses it to make a mostly boring movie.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.