The B-Masters Cabal

It’s not quite a Roundtable, but almost.  As I head into my annual “Month of the Living Dead” at Cold Fusion Video Reviews, several other B-Masters have volunteered (and others were strongarmed) to participate by throwing a zombie movie review out during October.  The dead outnumber us, you know.

This week’s new reviews are Dead Heist (2007), a hip-hop heist zombie movie that is probably better than I should have expected a hip-hop heist zombie movie to be.

And then there’s Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004), a corporate celluloid product that singlehandedly justifies all the snarky comments made by Continental European types about American pop culture.

Following in Lyz’s steps, Teleport City now has a section dedicated to short — sometimes super-short — reviews and really old material. Because lord knows I couldn’t let Bloodrayne 2 pass without at least some comment.

Teleport City Shrimp Chips

Farz (1967)
“The terrorist organization consists of five guys — two of whom wear scarves even though their short sleeve shirts indicate that it’s not scarf season — who are constantly berated by a guy who, in a European film, would have been played by Timothy Dalton. The guy’s secret underground terrorist lair leaves a considerable amount to be desired, consisting as it does primarily of some cool Mario Bava-esque lighting and a folding card table with a rotary phone on it. Here’s a tip for all of you who aspire to be a henchman for some megalomaniacal would-be world conqueror. If, on the day of your interview, you get a tour of the secret underground lair and it is furnished entirely with folding card tables and rotary phones, pass on whatever offer you are given. In fact, don’t join up with any secret globe-conquering society that has a folding card table anywhere, let alone in the main control room.”

The Hands of Orlac (1924), in which a famous pianist loses his hands in a train wreck, and has them replaced with one of the most oft-copied plot devices in the history of horror cinema…

Schizoid (1980), in which the infamous Golan and Globus hire the writer/director of the “Dallas” and “Dyansty” pilots to make them a much-belated wannabe giallo…

and…

The Student of Prague (1913), in which one of the earliest 30-year-old teenagers on record sells his soul to hell for a fortune big enough to impress a countess, and gets about what you’d expect from the deal.

People who enjoyed I Know What You Did Last Summer should also enjoy the second sequel, I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (2006), for one very simple reason: IT’S THE SAME FRICKING MOVIE.

Hi, my name is Ken B.  (“Hi, Ken B.”)  This is my first time posting here.  I’m…a b-movieholic.  (Applause, warm fuzzies.)  Luckily, I have my own Higher Power to help me through this.  Thank you, Jabootu.

Anyhoo, new review: 

Frankenstein vs. the Creature of Blood Cove

For context, I’ve been looking at various Gill Man movies lately, including:

The Beach Girls and the Monster (includes Gill Man history notes)
Destination Inner Space
And, a while back, The Horror of Party Beach

That is all.

The latest at Cold Fusion Video Reviews is Jungle Goddess (1948), a George Reeves/Ralph Byrd B-movie which answers the question, “Just how boring can a white-goddess-in-Africa movie be?”  Otherwise, only notable for the misplaced orangutan (!) stock footage in the African locale.

Braineater looks at two more films by Carlos Enrique Taboada: El Vagabundo en la lluvia (The Drifter in the Rain, 1968) and El Libro de piedra (The Book of Stone, 1969).

And, since my first installment came out just before this blog made its debut, here’s more on one of Mexico’s most accomplished horror directors: Hasta el viento tiene miedo (Even the Wind is Afraid, 1968).

In answer to the question that has plagued me since the founding of And You Call Yourself A Scientist! – namely, “Don’t you ever watch anything else?” – we present a new site section: Et Al. – short reviews of the other films I watch. They’re the reviews I write when I’m not writing a review!

(To access Et Al. from the front page, click on Etc., Etc., Etc…., which is where I’m putting all the stuff I don’t know what to do with. I know, I know: it’s all very technical.)

Newly reviewed: Planet of the Dinosaurs (1978), the low-budget classic known for its lifelike dinosaurs and not-so-lifelike cast. And I blame the current state of movie production for making me feel justified in using the word “classic” here.