Before we get into this article, let me get something off my chest and, in the process, confess to you all that I am going into this movie with a considerable chip on my shoulder. You see, as can be ascertained from the title, this movie deals with a journey to the planet Uranus, and as anyone can tell you, it is the God-given right of people discussing this planet to make as many “Uranus” jokes as they can (and believe me, I can make a lot of them). Especially when a movie turns out to be as dull and uneventful as this one, we who regularly engage in discussion of such films need those Uranus jokes to make it through to the end credits. Now some movies will try and head you off at the pass, using the alternate “Urine Us” pronunciation, but as you can see, even though it is less versatile, that pronunciation comes with its own cargo of hilarity.
So it was with barely contained boiling rage that I discovered Journey to the 7th Planet is not only dull, but it also steals, like a horrible goblin in the night, the one ray of joy it could have otherwise delivered to us. It does this by making up a wholly new pronunciation for Uranus, something that goes a little something like “Your Ahhh Niss.”
#1 by Blake Matthews on February 27, 2009 - 5:29 am
Quote
I actually like this movie, if for only the rat-dinosaur and the beautiful Scandinavian women.
#2 by Blake Matthews on February 27, 2009 - 8:30 am
Quote
I believe my copy is an Australian double disc with “Queen of Blood” as the double-feature (when I saw that, I didn’t wait to buy it; I was on a Alien-inspiration binge at the time).
#3 by PCachu on February 27, 2009 - 10:58 am
Quote
As far as Urectum is concerned, it’s not the first time I’ve heard that particular variant; “you-RAH-niss” is the pronunciation that Schoolhouse Rock went with for their “Interplanet Janet” song about the solar system. (Of course, that actually postdates 7th Planet by a couple decades, but, well, I can’t exactly go back in time and show my younger self a John Agar movie to make sure he gets the sequence right.)
#4 by El Santo on February 27, 2009 - 12:28 pm
Quote
And for the truly pedantic, the Romans would have pronounced it closer to “OO-rah-nuss,” the Greeks “OO-rah-nawss.” They’d have been talking strictly about the god, though, because the planet isn’t visible from Earth with the naked eye.
#5 by Elizabeth the Ferret on February 27, 2009 - 12:50 pm
Quote
I still remember my seventh grade science teacher starting our unit on Uranus with and a smirk and the words, “Uranus is large and gaseous.”
#6 by lyzard on February 27, 2009 - 2:29 pm
Quote
So the lesson of this Roundtable is that AIP really liked films accessorised by eyeballs sitting in swirly backdrops? But you sure can see the improvement in special effects technology over the intervening decade: your swirly-eyeball kicks my swirly eyeball in the OO-rah-nawss.
#7 by KeithA on February 27, 2009 - 3:06 pm
Quote
Just imagine where they could have taken swirly eyeballs if they were still around today.
Elizabeth — in elementary school, we all had to do a report on a different celestial body. The planets, the sun, asteroids, comets, etc. The teacher assigned each item to us as she went down the row, and despite the visible regret on her face as soon as it happened, I drew Uranus. I did my research and found that, due to irregularities in the planet’s orbit, there is a portion of time when Uranus is completely blocked from the sun by..oh, was it Saturn? I don’t remember. All I remember is that in my report I mentioned this and then said, “So when people tell you to stick it where the sun don’t shine, they mean Uranus.”
It is probably the moment in life of which I am proudest.
#8 by Camassia on February 27, 2009 - 7:35 pm
Quote
I have a distinct memory that, long ago when I was a teenager reading Fantasy & Science Fiction magazine, I read an essay by Isaac Asimov called “The Unmentionable Planet,” discussing the pronunciation of Uranus. He endorsed yoo-RAN-us, though I don’t think he referred to this movie. So I guess you can’t blame it all on Brits and Greeks.
Anyway, I enjoyed the recap, and loved the pictures. I’ve read about this movie before but the visuals added a lot.
#9 by supersonic on February 28, 2009 - 12:10 am
Quote
Sometimes it is, in the darkest and clearest of seeing conditions. I’ve heard there are records of Arabic astronomers occasionally spotting it and tracking it without telescopes, though not well enough to get a lasting grip on it.
#10 by Chad R. on February 28, 2009 - 8:53 am
Quote
Am I alone in thinking the rat dinosaur is kind of cute? Then again, I have a crush on Turanga Leela, so obviously a large central eye is not a problem for me.
#11 by KeithA on February 28, 2009 - 9:40 pm
Quote
So I think the science to take away from this is that you usually can’t see Uranus with your own eyes, but sometimes, under very specific special conditions, it may be possible.
#12 by Braineater on March 1, 2009 - 4:18 pm
Quote
Perhaps if it had been directed by Sidney Brown…?
#13 by Howard on March 2, 2009 - 8:18 pm
Quote
I’m surprised no one has mentioned the single greatest thing about this movie: the “love theme” that plays over the closing credits.
Journey to the Seventh Planet
Come to me.
Let your dreams become reality.
I wait for you.
Somewhere, on the seventh planet,
Out in space.
You and I will find a magic place,
Like lovers do.
And while we’re
Up above, we’ll touch the star
That we have wished upon.
Then our love will take wings
And go on and on.
Journey to the Seventh Planet
In your heart,
Let a spark of love begin to start
For us to share, forever.
Seventh planet, seventh heaven —
If you learn to care,
Our love will be beyond compare!
[cue trombone solo, and . . . fade.]
I have been known to put this movie on and watch it all the way through, just to enjoy this song to the fullest in the context of the previous 90 minutes.
#14 by lyzard on March 2, 2009 - 8:43 pm
Quote
[Shameless self-promotion] It’s in my Immortal Dialogue section (along with the theme songs from Orca, The Green Slime and Amphibian Man). [/Shameless self-promotion]
#15 by Howard on March 2, 2009 - 9:17 pm
Quote
Sorry, Lyzard, I didn’t mean to jump your claim. I tell you what — as an added-value bonus, for you musicians out there, here’s a chord chart so you can play along at home:
||: Cm7 | F7b9 | BbM7| Gm9 |
| Cm7 | F7b9 | Dm7b5 | G7 :||
|| Cm7 | F7 | BbM7 | % |
| Gm7 | C7 | Cm7 | F7 ||
|| Cm7 | F7b9 | BbM7| Gm9 |
| Cm7 | F7b9 | Dm7b5 | G7b13 ||
|| Cm7 | F7 | BbM7 | G7b9 |
| Cm7 |F7b9 | BbM7 | % ||
I just banged that out special for the Cabal and haven’t tested it beyond my own piano, so it may need some tweaking.
(I really wish you guys had comment preview enabled.)
#16 by Howard on March 4, 2009 - 2:22 am
Quote
Holy Crap! You’ll never guess who I met tonight, in the little dive bar where I sometimes hang out in my crappy midwestern town.
Nope. Guess again.
No way! You’ll never guess.
Tonight, I met, and shook hands with, Stacey Keach.
I don’t usually do the celebrity thing, but OMG! Stacey Keach.
The bartender had said, “I never noticed before, but he’s a very distinguished man,” and I said “Who?” And she said, “See that white-haired man there in the back? That’s Stacey Keach.”
And I was all like, Be charming, Howard. Mention how much you enjoyed “Slaves of the Cannibal God.” That’s sure to make an impression. But instead I pretended I had to pee and hung out by the men’s room.
“Mr. Keach?” I said, just like that. Mister Keach. “Yes?,” he said, in that infamous baritone voice.
I choked. “I just wanted to say how much I’ve enjoyed your work over the years.”
His great bear-paw hands engulfed mine — did you know Stacey Keach has huge, huge hands? — and I was a child again. “Thank you,” said Stacey Keach, and I went back to the bar and had, like, seven more drinks until I calmed down.
I know this isn’t the place, or the thread, but come on! — Stacey Keach! I’ve got to tell someone.
#17 by El Santo on March 5, 2009 - 1:08 pm
Quote
“Mention how much you enjoyed Slaves of the Cannibal God. That’s sure to make an impression.”
Exactly how I would have approached the situation, too.