People travel 20,000 light years across the universe to explore a new planet, only to discover that it is populated by man-eating bears. The bears are not purple. They don’t have tentacles or glowing eyes. They’re just…bears.
Review Snippet:
Anyway, the humans’ main problem on this alien planet is, quite obviously, the bears. Anybody who gets separated from the group is eaten by a bear. In fact, if the camera is not focused on a character, they are in grave danger of immediately becoming bear chow.
Something to watch for:
11 mins – Why would you go and ruin a virgin planet by bringing a lawyer with you?
48 mins – The bear ate the lawyer. Paradise is saved.
#1 by KeithA on October 18, 2010 - 3:24 pm
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I’m still trying to get my head around the fact that this movie wasn’t made in 1977.
#2 by Loki on October 18, 2010 - 4:43 pm
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Cain: “So how does an extinct bear come to get on this planet?”
Allison: “Somehow its DNA sequence regressed. No modern bear, even full grown, has claws this big or a hide this dense.”
She has no idea how an extinct bear came to get on this planet.
#3 by lyzard on October 18, 2010 - 9:56 pm
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“What’s a million-year-old grizzly doing here?”
Don’t tell me that line wasn’t a tribute. The difference is, Grizzly had more sense than to try and answer its own question.
#4 by Ed on October 19, 2010 - 12:29 pm
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God, my love for this horrid movie is beyond all reason. Stock footage bears on an alien planet, jusdt brilliantly stupid.
#5 by El Santo on October 20, 2010 - 12:42 pm
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“The difference is, Grizzly had more sense than to try and answer its own question.”
I suppose having less sense than Grizzly is an accomplishment of sorts…
#6 by lyzard on October 20, 2010 - 5:18 pm
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Hey! – no trash-talking Grizzly on my watch, pal!
#7 by The Rev. on October 21, 2010 - 7:55 am
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I think the movie is pretty dumb fun, but I’m a sucker for attacks by puppets*, and we get a few shots of a bear head being rubbed all over victims in an attempt to make us believe the bear’s eating them.
Of course, the first part of the movie I saw was the video from the prior explorator team, which is probably the most hilarious part of the movie, so I went into it knowing what I was getting, and figuring I’d enjoy it, which I more or less did.
*I do have my limits; I still hate Hobgoblins, despite the puppets.
#8 by Andrew on October 21, 2010 - 8:03 am
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Type your comment here
Aha! You mean when the line of people are walking through the woods, and the woman is absently hacking at vegetation with her machete (despite not actually needing to). She chops off one of her friend’s hands, he abruptly falls through a hole into a cave, the stump gets doused in a pool of the magic green goop, his hand grows back, and then a bear suddenly eats him.
For me, that’s the best part of the movie. I should have turned it off after five minutes and spent the next 20 years thinking about how great the next 85 minutes must be.
#9 by The Rev. on October 22, 2010 - 6:59 am
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Yes, that is indeed what I’m talking about, and it’s even more hilarious to watch than to read about. The rest of the movie doesn’t live up to that, but like I said, puppet attacks!