Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare (1987)
I was going to head this, “For those about to suck, we salute you!” But alas, that’s really the wrong band.
Andrew Borntreger of Badmovies.org chose the movie, but if this review leaves you as Dazed and Confused as I was, then it’s Nobody’s Fault but Mine (damn it, that’s still the wrong band).
If you’re expecting a decent movie, You’ve Got Another Thing Coming…
…
Oh, for crying out loud, the heavy metal band in this movie is Thor: can anybody come up with a clever Thor song-title reference? Or any Thor song-title reference?! I’m stumped. Guess I’ll have to lean on Patton Oswalt’s impression of a guitar solo instead: Squibbly Blabbly Doo! That makes about as much sense as this movie.
Anyway. Welcome to my Nightmare. No, no, wait: that’s Alice Blooper… Cooper! Aw, just read the damned review…
#1 by lyzard on December 20, 2010 - 7:52 pm
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Lucky you. All I want for Christmas is to get the theme song from my Secret Santa film OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!
#2 by Read MacGuirtose on December 21, 2010 - 3:58 am
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Apparently Evil is a bichon frisé.
Up until a month or two ago, this sentence wouldn’t have meant much to me. I’d never seen a bichon frisé, and knew nothing about them. But lately I’ve been working on a webseries with a friend who, as it happens, has two bichon frisés. Apparently the reason he sought out this particular breed is because he’s terribly allergic to most dogs and cats, and bichon frisés are hypoallergenic and one of the few such animals that don’t set off his allergies.
This comment brought to you by the Department of Irrelevant Asides.
#3 by Braineater on December 21, 2010 - 7:44 am
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Yeah: they’re innocuous little throw-pillow dogs. That’s why I thought they’d make a good metaphor for Satan’s grand plans to dominate the entire, er… house.
#4 by The Rev. on December 21, 2010 - 1:12 pm
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Speaking of “neggie psychotic break”…you OK, Will?
#5 by Braineater on December 21, 2010 - 3:51 pm
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I’ll let you know after I finish reviewing the sequel.
(… twitch… twitch…)
#6 by The Rev. on December 21, 2010 - 5:23 pm
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One of my great B-movie shames is that I’ve never seen one of JMT’s movies. I have yet to be able to read Ken’s review of the 2nd one because I don’t want to know the huge amazing twist, which I’ve managed to avoid all these years.
#7 by Braineater on December 21, 2010 - 7:33 pm
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Well, then, for the love of Odin, don’t read this review, because spoiling the Big Colossal Twist was my revenge on the damned thing.
#8 by The Rev. on December 22, 2010 - 2:29 pm
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Warning taken. This sucks, though, ’cause I like your reviews. I also wanted to take a couple of hours and just read all the Secret Santa reviews at once.
You realize I’m now going to be forced to track the goddamned thing down now and watch it, right? And fairly soon, so I can stick to my plans.
It’s like Sadako all over again…
#9 by Braineater on December 22, 2010 - 2:53 pm
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Now that my anger at the Twist Ending has cooled off a bit, I’ve decided to go back and add a warning a couple of paragraphs before I go off the deep end and start in with the serious spoilers. Proceed with caution, and I think you should be OK.
Of course, the whole premise of the sequel, including the title, is based on the aftereffects of that Twist, so… the Reader Is Warned.
#10 by The Rev. on December 22, 2010 - 5:12 pm
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All I know is it’s called Intercessor: Another Rock and Roll Nightmare. That alone doesn’t tell me much.
I haven’t seen the first one, either, but what I know of that one, and this one, tells me there’s almost no connection at all between the two save the presence of Thor.
#11 by Ken Begg on December 23, 2010 - 9:18 am
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As a Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare fan from waaaaaay back–I reviewed it in 1997, the first year of my site–I eagerly checked out Intercessor when it was released (much like a rabid dog). It is, even by my standards, literally unwatchable. It’s basically one of those shot on video with Flash effects dealies like Mikels made with the Astro-Zombie sequels.
I sent the disc back to Amazon for a refund. That is, to date, the only time, ever, I’ve done that.
Not to say that maybe *you* wouldn’t like it.
#12 by Braineater on December 23, 2010 - 10:16 am
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“Like” is a strong word. “Tolerate” may even be too strong a word. Let’s just say that in spite of its very best efforts, it hasn’t killed me yet.
#13 by The Rev. on December 23, 2010 - 11:01 am
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I didn’t read Foy’s review of Intercessor, but his rating was .5 stars, so I’m guessing it was terrible if even he hated it.
#14 by Braineater on December 23, 2010 - 12:08 pm
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Foy was being generous.
See Comment #11: This is a movie that even Ken Begg refused to watch. This is a movie disowned even by Mighty Jabootu Himself. The man who sent Dr. Freex Frankenstein Island without qualms found this one unworthy. Wow. If that doesn’t send up warning signals…
#15 by Ed on December 24, 2010 - 6:04 pm
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Nice one, Will. As for twist endings, are we entirely sure M. Night didn’t see this movie before writing some of his films? The Happening makes me think maybe he did.
#16 by The Rev. on January 10, 2011 - 7:05 pm
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I neglected Will’s question about Thor songs. Metal band Manowar has a song called “Thor.” You could’ve referred to how, much like Thor, this movie will “crush all the infidels in (its) way,” or how the “neverending curse” sent by “the powerhead of the universe” was this movie.
Yeah, the second one. That’s good.