Jaws on ice
Posted on May 15, 2010
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A Colorado resort is terrorised by a rampaging (if barely glimpsed) killer hominid, which chooses of all times the days prior to the resort’s 50th Anniversary Winter Carnival to start preying on the guests.
However, the local economy depends upon the carnival, so they can’t possibly close the ski resort…
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[By the way, I do still hope to get that housekeeping done…]
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Categories: New Reviews
The shooting/skiing sport is the biathlon. Not surprisingly, it originated with Scandinavian soldiers.
And that bear on the toboggan looks more like a bear suit with nobody home.
15.05.2010 03:21
Oh, it *is* just called biathlon? I was going to say that, but then it seemed too simple. Thanks.
And thus an even less likely suspect. (We don’t dignify with a response Paraday’s claim that it came, Charging out of the bushes at me.)
15.05.2010 04:29
I’m ridiculously pleased to find out that you, too, grew up with a Channel 7 Creature Feature.
(And by the way: I remember reading in the Andy Milligan biography about the meaning of the word “orgy”… it didn’t take on the current meaning until surprisingly late. By 1977 I think it was still mostly associated with food, drink and, um, clothed revelry.)
15.05.2010 08:10
This movie did a good job of scaring me when I was kid. Surprisingly the very lack of Snowbeast appearances is probably what made it scary then. I had a pretty good imagination and I’d recently started reading about bigfoot – including that creepy Teddy Roosevelt story.
17.05.2010 11:35
“…possibly because I don’t like the cold and have no taste for winter sports, unless you classify huddling in front of a fire with a book and a drink and shaking my head in mystification at all the people who choose to be outside as a winter sport.”
Oh yeah, you don’t get below freezing out there, do you? I’d be snide, but you live in Deathland so I’m not going to. Still, doesn’t like the cold, hates eyeball gougings…I guess no one’s perfect, not even our resident Scientist/Hot Devil Girl.
I get odd looks down here when I complain about the lack of winter in Texas. I have to admit to being surprised I missed it, but I think I only hated it when I had to drive in the snow and ice, which as I got older became more and more likely. I miss having four seasons.
I’ve never skied, suck on ice skates, and never really took the time to learn to snowboard, but I am an expert sledder/tuber, a master snowball fighter, and am quite good at crokey (our family version of ice hockey, with no skates and croquet mallets and balls as the sticks and pucks).
I don’t know why those Winter Olympic jackasses won’t return my calls.
17.05.2010 15:22
Yay, more Lyz!
Oh, and I did this one for the AV Club a little while back. Lyz’s review is better, but mine has a few video clips you might want to check out after reading hers (which I will do post haste): http://www.avclub.com/articles/snowbeast,29805/
18.05.2010 11:55
Well, we do in some areas; just not the areas I choose to frequent. I like snow, but as a spectator sport, not a participatory one.
David, it certainly does have its moments, but shot after shot of the heroes pointing and yelling “LOOK!!” without even a blurred glimpse to go with it crosses the line, I think. As for the “death scene”…
Thank you, Zack, much appreciated!
19.05.2010 02:51
Does it get below freezing in Sydney’s area? I had thought it didn’t, and that’s what I meant when I said “out there,” not Australia in general.
It occurs to me I should maybe talk about the review!
Naturally, it was a fun read. I’ve never seen this, but the lack of critter you note makes me not all that excited to see it, and I wasn’t really anxious to as it was.
It occurs to me this is a subgenre I’ve not really become immersed in. I’ve only seen Harry and the Hendersons, Curse of Bigfoot, and the MSTed version of Boggy Creek II. Of course, the three I’ve seen have not exactly lit a fire under my ass in regards to seeing more, although I do want to catch the entirety of those two or three with Lance Henriksen that came out in the 2000s. (And now Black Lake.)
19.05.2010 10:33
Well, it does get to freezing in the outskirt-y areas and occasionally even snows; then it’s a question of where you draw the boundary line. But you’re right as a generalisation.
Snowbeast is a Jaws rip-off; therefore I Had No Choice. But I must say I was less reluctant to revisit it than I was Tentacoli, for obvious reasons.
I’m only mildly ashamed to confess I never quite recovered from the “attack on the caravan” sequence in The Mysterious Monsters. Anyway, I’m yet to find a hominid film that lives up to my childhood memory of that scene – although the more Will talks about it, the more interesting Creature From Black Lake sounds.
20.05.2010 05:28
Tentacoli has been sitting in my DVR for a few weeks now. I haven’t seen it in many years; back then I was too young or naive to notice the tragic ending, or else blanked it out. Now that I know only too well what’s waiting for me, I’m very reluctant to go there. Maybe I should hunt up Snowbeast instead.
Plus I reeeeeeally need to finally watch Dr Ehrlich’s Magic Bullet.
20.05.2010 08:07
Snowbeast is widely available via public domain DVD box sets. It’s in so many of them that I think I have three copies of it at this point.
20.05.2010 12:03
YES YOU DO!!!!
🙂
My copy of Snowbeast is out of the old Brentwood Vault Of Horror 10-movie set, which must be about the first of those sets to be released. I must say, I was surprised and pleased by the condition of the print: the snow scenes are a bit blue (as you can see from my front page screenshot) but otherwise it’s in pretty good shape for a film of its vintage and origin.
21.05.2010 17:01
GAAAH!!! Don’t hit! Don’t hit! I’ll watch it tonight, I swear!!
21.05.2010 17:23
Oh, no, no, no, it’s much worse than that. I don’t hit; I nag. (Just ask the other B-Masters.)
21.05.2010 20:21
*cue hideous shrieking and clutching of hair*
I read that post with the following music cue at the word in italics:
Bum-bum-BUUUUUMMMM!!!!
21.05.2010 21:25
OK, my too-long thoughts on it are in the appropriate thread. Enjoy.
P.S. Here’s your crown, Your Majesty!…
21.05.2010 23:38
Awwww…I was hoping she’d get that reference and respond in kind.
24.05.2010 06:54
I got the reference.
I took the high ground.
25.05.2010 04:47
(I would’ve been surprised if you hadn’t gotten it, considering how often you quote that show…)
Still….”high ground.” Since when? Pssshht.
This just proves that you are, indeed, their Queen, doesn’t it?
*feels a “Bah!” coming on*
25.05.2010 11:17
Sacre merde, le limite d’bandwidth!
25.05.2010 19:13