Everybody cry when Mrs Orca die
Posted on July 12, 2010If spending my life bogged down in a morass of Jaws rip-off killer animal films from 1977 is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.
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ORCA (1977) (revised)
Dino de Laurentiis’ attempt to outdo Jaws succeeds about as well as his earlier attempt to make us forget about Willis O’Brien’s handiwork. This outrageous exploitationer runs the gamut from the indefensible to the indescribable, piling lunacy on top of lunacy in its tale of a thick-headed Irish fisherman being stalked around the wilds of Newfoundland by a crazed and homicidal orca.
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(In bandwidth news, I have mostly shaken off my harassers; although they still seem to be hitting me occasionally despite me taking down all their targets. I guess it’s still a work in progress.)
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Categories: New Reviews
Random thoughts from my brainmeats…
For some reason, that “Carcharodon carcharias” caption cracked me the hell up. I also really liked the later reference to Inigo Montoya.
I found myself confused by that rating picture so far down in the review. This is why you should not look at the pictures and captions beforehand.
I would totally watch Death Wish VII: The Bladening. Of course, considering some of the things I’ve watched over the years, this should not be surprising.
Have you ever EEE-villy joyously frolicked? It’s pretty fun.
I saw that picture of Charlotte Rampling before I scrolled down to the caption and thought, “Oh come on, there’s no way in hell that’s her reaction to…oh, silly me. Never mind.” (I haven’t seen this in many years and only remember the really stupid parts, not the more subtle badness like that.)
I think they should’ve had Orca jump up and knock off that helicopter at the very end. It’s just not a killer animal movie without a destroyed ‘copter…
12.07.2010 12:12
The Orca is going to follow the helicoptor back to the airport, and then build a crude, abiet sufficient anti-aircraft gund… For more Whale Vengence.
To Bad Dino never gave us King Kong VS Orca.
12.07.2010 12:32
Orca then became The GodFishie of the Sea, he who controlled all, but was only seen on the day of his daughter’s wedding (he remarried), stroking a white fur seal and saying “Never have you invited me to your house for coffee and herring…”
It is also widely believed that Orca was behind the terrorist fish attacks chronicled in Megashark Vs. Giant Octopus, but no charges were ever filed.
12.07.2010 13:14
I guess helicopter destruction didn’t really become de rigueur until after Jaws 2.
The ratings picture was precisely positioned, Rev, but I did have some trouble with the others. The action in Orca comes in a heck of a rush, and it isn’t possible to place the screenshots to flow with the text.
Of course I have EEE-villy joyously frolicked – what do you take me for!?
Jen, I’m happy to go with the GodOrca version of events, but I’m sure he never remarried. Never mind. Lots of nieces and nephews in the pod to make up The Family.
12.07.2010 16:42
I don’t know, you don’t strike me as the frolicking type. I apologize if I offend. *geneflucts*
I think you did a fine job of placement. Like I said, it threw me because I saw it before I read the context.
13.07.2010 10:05
Oh god, this one! This was probably the first really awful movie I ever saw. From first seeing the ad for it on the back of a few of my older brothers comic books, I had a pressing need to see it. Then, one lazy weekend afternoon at the grandparent’s place, I did…At least the air conditioner was working that day.
Good stuff, Liz. I applaud you on your ability to avoid making a “Hey, I didn’t know Steven Seagal was in this movie!” upon seeing the Orca for the first time. God knows I don’t have that sort of inner strength.
12.07.2010 20:19
When it comes to “I am a Zen Master who will nevertheless kill you if you look at me the wrong way”, Orca leaves ol’ Steve for dead.
He’s a better dresser, too.
12.07.2010 20:29
True, he’s also got a better signature move. Flipping a guy into an ice wall trumps twisting a gun away and shooting the guy you got it from any day in my book.
12.07.2010 21:19
This is one of my favorites of the Jaws knock offs/cash ins. I love when trash cinema tries to be an Art Film. Harris and Derek would carry that even further in Tarzan. But this film is a hoot. And I believe we already got Death Wish VII: The Bladening, they just called it The Happening is all.
13.07.2010 01:26
What does it take to change the essense of a vengeful killer whale?
13.07.2010 05:38
Time. Orca needs time.
Well, that and to smash a few guys in the balls.
13.07.2010 10:07
Young Charlotte Rampling may be bony, but the tradeoff is that over-fifty Charlotte Rampling is still hot.
13.07.2010 12:07
Wonder how desperate they’d have to get before someone started thinking about remaking this one…
13.07.2010 14:32
Just give the remake to Peter Jackson. It’ll have 100 foot squids, giant clams, a hideously realistic flopping fetus, and Charlize Theron. It’ll be 225 minutes long, it’ll be set in 1972, and it’ll be so awesome that it wraps around and becomes semi-lame, except to me.
13.07.2010 15:18
Another great review, as always I enjoy your work.
Now I saw ORCA when I was a kid (I think it was at the drive-in, I think it was a double feature with THE WHITE BUFFALO or TENTACLES…) and I have to admit to to my pre-teen mind the film seemed pretty epic. Now as I am entering my 40’s the flaws of the film are very obvious but there are still moments in the film that remind me of what it felt like when I saw this as a kid.
13.07.2010 16:51
This would have been little more than a ridiculous killer animal movie were it not for the Ennio Morricone score. That and the soft focus 70s style of camerawork make it an excessively WEIRD and haunted ridiculous killer animal movie. If you told me Jean Rollin directed this, I’d believe you except for the lack of vacant-eyed vampire girls
14.07.2010 12:37
Vampires, maybe not, but there’s no lack of vacant-eyed girls.
14.07.2010 19:11
I like the poster at the top of the review, the orca is one the smartest creatures ‘in the universe’. Is it really? Does it even have an ipod? I-pod? gettit? Nevermind.
15.07.2010 03:27
I remember at some point while writing up this movie I decided to replace the word “Orca” and “Killer Whale” in the synopsis with the words “Garter Snake” and all references to boating and whaling with a mower and yard mowing and realized how damned ridiculous this thing truly is.
Also, that climax always brings Horace Stoneham’s ‘Shot Heard Round the World’ to mind:
“Nolan falls … There’s a long drive! Deep to left field! That’s gonna be it, I believe. The orcas win the pennant! The orcas win the pennant! The orcas win the pennant!”
15.07.2010 13:23